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I realized that the time has come to ask myself on a date.
Sitting in a sunlight-filled room I was thinking about a break in the city, even a short one with a cup of coffee, thoughtfully sipping, calmly looking at what was happening around me, and writing down my thoughts. Just that. The bright sun made me go outside much sooner and before I knew it, I was already on the way to realizing my morning thoughts.
There was no thoughtfulness in drinking my coffee, it took me three sips to finish it (I guess the fast-paced routine got me). Looking around started to annoy me a little, but the music there was excellent. When I opened my laptop, my thoughts were kind of messy, so it seemed that I was deleting more than I wrote… I kept writing and deleting and writing and deleting and writing and deleting.
My date – was a failure... I curled my lip. I was disappointed in today‘s ME, to whom I offered my time. We shall never meet again.
Lezione di vita: Our minds are capable of putting everything together and coming up with a perfect picture of what or how something should be, but in reality, it doesn‘t mean that that‘s exactly what‘s going to happen.
I stood up and was about to leave when I remembered a saying in Latin Solvitur Ambulando meaning Walk It Out. Sun accompanied. Angels of Vilnius city waved from the roofs. The Autumn breeze brought back memories of my book "Bored in Vilnius". So bored, haha ;)
While on the way back, in a trolley bus, I focused on my phone screen. Scrolling on Facebook I stopped by a post shared by someone who read Jonas Mekas' words - “I‘m not a thoughtful man. You won‘t go far using your head. I just sit and listen, to what comes from the deepest inside, trying to guess what matters.”
Words do have power!
A moment later, I turned on my Etsy. Here I got an offer to pat myself on the back, for making nicely rounded 296 sales so far. Wow. Pat, pat – slowly I started to enjoy the company of today‘s ME who I asked out on a date. Maybe light tiredness, running, and constant hurry didn‘t allow me to see something beautiful. Stubborn? Active? Successful? The one who can not live without design?
I‘ll try again tomorrow. I‘ll go on a date again. I‘ll have coffee. I‘ll stay in silence. I‘ll write and delete it. Again… And again… And again… Until it works.